Whilst I have the political freedom to wear a bikini and pose for this photo, Iranian girls as young as 15 are getting arrested, abused, raped and even killed for protesting against the compulsory hijab. For more than a month, Iranian women have taken to the streets, burned their hijabs, cut their hair, and demanded an end to the curtailing of their rights.
I have no words to express the gravity of my sadness and admiration for these fearless women.
I still remember the night, when I was taken into custody by the morality police in Iran because my uniform wasn't covering my whole arms and because I was with a male friend who wasn't married to me. I remember asking the guard to let me go to the toilet and I was not allowed to; she kept saying to me stop being a drama queen.
I remember finding a small pin and cutting my arms to soothe the mental agony I was going through. Luckily, the day after, I was released on bail. But I will never forget the humiliation and helplessness I felt that night.
I love this saying...
"You never know how
strong you are until being
strong is the only choice you have."
I often look back and tell myself that perhaps being strong was the only way I could survive throughout my life. Of course, I recognise many anxieties within me; but I chose freedom of my soul over being controlled by my fears. I grew up in a society where simply being myself was provocative and frowned upon; expressing my needs was regarded as attention-seeking.
When I had an opportunity to travel the world, I realised the way I had been taught to be was the main reason behind my internal conflicts and emotional pain; I realised how distant I was from the person I was truly meant to be. The more I travelled and observed other cultures, the more I learnt about the ways we conform and the ways we challenge the pressures of conformity; it made me realise I could steer a path to embrace the power and freedom that resided within me.
I believe that you can be denied your political freedom; but no one can take away your individual freedom.
I have been thinking about freedom a lot lately. One of the chapters in my fellowship report is dedicated to freedom. In existential psychotherapy, freedom is one of the four ultimate concerns of life.
I have divided my findings into four chapters based on those four concerns. Victor Frankl, who wrote the book "Man's Search for Meaning", believed that the ultimate human freedom is the freedom to control our attitude toward the situations we inherit. It is the personal freedom we each have. No one can take this freedom away.
From an existential perspective freedom is, essentially, freedom to ‘create’ your own life, starting with freedoms to desire, choose, act and change. This allows the notion of ‘authorship’ to be revealed, the ability to exert your will in response to the situations you face. Of course, external obstacles will get in the way and may never even be removed, but the exertion of will to define attitude and character in the face of those obstacles allows one to become author of their own story. You choose to be ‘victim’, ‘influencer’ or ‘fighter’; you choose to be ‘broken’ or ‘resolute’.
Freedom, from an existential perspective, cannot be separated from responsibility. With freedom comes responsibility. Yet, it is common for many people to seek freedom while trying to avoid responsibility.
According to Wikipedia, responsibility is moral accountability; it is the concept that people own the consequences of their actions and can be held accountable or liable for these actions.
It has been so paralyzing for me to watch what's happening in Iran. The bravery of the whole nation, who are standing up to 40 years of such brutality and tyranny, is unbelievable. There are records of deaths of dozens of men, women and children. Hundreds have been seriously harmed; even more arrested. Many people across the world have stood up in solidarity with the women of Iran. What people are demanding is for the government to take accountability for its repressive policies and the way they have been treating their own citizens.
What is happening in Iran is sad and it is an obvious example of misuse of power and those who take no responsibility for their actions. Not only in Iran but in many countries in the world you see protests and demonstrations these days. It seems to me that the purpose of politics has become to protect those in power instead of the people who vote and give them the power.
Around the world, people are shouting, demanding that their rights be met. However, the problem is that when everyone is shouting and fighting, people stop listening. I think not always those who shout the loudest will get heard. We blame the governments, leaders, migrants and each other and demand for a change but we ignore the fact that the change we want to see in the world starts from within and then needs to grow outwards, collaboratively, with compassion and respect for each other. There seems to be always a finger pointed at someone else, without realising that we are all responsible for creating the free world we all dream of.
Clearly, within these paragraphs, there is a paradox to resolve. When there is a pressure for change, does responsibility lie with the individual or with the community or with the powers that be? Surely, it is all of them, and there is a complex relationship between notions of freedom, notions of sin and notions of value that we ascribe to cultural behaviour. Ultimately, the only real way forward is when there is an acceptance of responsibility from all sides to engage in meaningful dialogue, seeking ways to build bridges, strengthening the fragility that threatens to tear society apart.
Mahatma Gandhi famously said, "Be the change you want to see in the world."
In other words, although life changes are inevitable, we can also initiate personal change so we can rise to the challenge and become a bigger and better person as a result.
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